Mustang Voices
What I Want My
Daughter to Know
In this essay, Chelsea Crabtree (Psychology ’25), a candidate in
the Master of Science in Higher Education Counseling and
Student Affairs program, describes her experience
navigating Cal Poly as a single parent.
By Chelsea Crabtree
Share this article:
Chelsea Crabtree and her daughter, Stella. Image courtesy of Chelsea Crabtree.
I went back to school when I was 25 and my daughter was 3 years old. I took classes at a community college while working at a preschool, holding her on my lap while teaching kids how to mix colors and plant gardens.
I’ve been in school for so long, it’s all my daughter and I know. We fell into a comfortable routine, where I studied after we read bedtime stories and before she woke up in the morning. Then I finished my associate’s degree and was ready to transfer to a four-year university.
It was easy fitting into my evening classes at community college. Those rooms are filled with people from all walks of life earning their degrees. I felt at home there learning alongside those students. By the time I started at Cal Poly, my daughter was 10 years old and in fourth grade. I was excited and proud, but also nervous to change all I knew, especially as a 32-year-old single parent.
Adjusting to Cal Poly
My comfortable structure of taking two courses per semester changed to full-time, fast-paced 10-week quarters. I couldn’t take classes around my schedule anymore, and I had to leave my teaching job because my schedule was too unpredictable. I leaned on my support system a lot, which I was privileged enough to have, and relied on other people to help with my daughter. My friends would take her to school on days I had early-morning classes, my dad would meet her on the walk home, and my mom would help her with her homework and feed her dinner when my classes went late.
But it was my daughter who helped me through school the most. During Cal Poly’s Week of Welcome, she held my hand as we wandered the campus to find all my classrooms, she reminded me to do my homework instead of procrastinating, and she walked across the stage with me when I graduated wearing matching caps and tassels.
I felt the power that comes with belonging.
When I initially transferred to Cal Poly, I felt out of place among so many younger peers and worried that I was somehow behind in life. I didn’t realize how special and unique my journey was. I also didn’t realize how understanding and accommodating my professors would be, which was one of the benefits of being a student in the Psychology and Child Development Department.
When I needed to miss a lecture to care for my sick child, I had an option of using Zoom to attend class. On days when my daughter didn’t have school, she was welcomed into the classroom to sit beside me while she would quietly read one of her books. She will tell you one of her favorite parts of being on campus is getting Starbucks as a special treat. My classmates embraced her as well, always showing kindness and support. Through this experience, I came to see that my nontraditional path enriched not only my education, but the classroom community.
A Turning Point
It was the spring quarter of my first year when I met my first mom friend in class. It was an immediate connection for us: like two ships lost at sea, we finally found each other and could guide each other home. This new ally told me about the Students with Dependents Program.
When I attended the “Bring Your Dependent to College Day” at the Arboretum, I met Courtney Moore, Cal Poly’s student services coordinator for the Students with Dependents Program. She helped me get a parking pass — something that anyone at Cal Poly knows is an accomplishment — and priority registration to align my class schedule with my daughter’s days, which relieved a lot of anxiety and guilt.
A few weeks later, the Students with Dependents Program was hiring a student assistant for the following year, so I applied. In the true Learn by Doing fashion, I spent my final year in undergrad helping and connecting with student parents. I organized events to promote community and belonging on campus. Behind the scenes, I searched for resources and opportunities for student parents. I felt the power that comes with belonging.
My Next Chapter
This work inspired me to apply to the Master of Science in Higher Education Counseling and Student Affairs program. I probably would not have pursued graduate school if it weren’t for the support of the Students with Dependents Program and my daughter for inspiration.
I don’t know if I will ever be “finished” with my education — I keep finding reasons and passion to continue — but I know that being a mom has made me work harder and dream bigger. I won’t give up because I want my daughter to know that we can do anything we want in this world if we try. I hope one day she looks back and feels as proud as I do.
Your Next Read
An animal enterprise on the outskirts of campus teaches students how to work with a different kind of creature.
At Cal Poly Racing, students have long designed, built and raced their own cars. The difference now is who gets to move from the shop floor to the driver’s seat.
